Thursday, January 25, 2007

Calling all moms!!!!

This post isn't about knitting, but about motherhood. I'm a little worried because the only place Robby can take good long naps is on my lap after breastfeeding, or in my baby sling. We are co-sleeping and he does great at that, but sometimes I have moments of self doubt where I think "Is he too attached?" But then I think, he is only going to be this age for a little while and I think that knowing his mommy will always be there will help him later in life to become independent and secure. My mom died when I was really young, and I've always dealt with issues of security even at the age of 27, so I hope that I can circumvent a lot of that angst by being so bonded with him in his early years. I'm sure that there will be phases where he will think he's too cool for ol' mother, so I'll enjoy this while I can. I am very flattered, I don't think there is anyone else who cries if I'm not within viewing distance :) I'll end this post with a shot of Robby in his daddy's sling, he's already too big for it!

11 comments:

Julie said...

There's no sweeter sight than that of a baby sleeping!

You have to do what feels right for you. My daughter slept with me for several years (hubby worked midnights so it was good for me and her). I probably let her sleep with me longer than I should have, because it was really difficult to get her into her own bed eventually. But, it felt right at the time and I'm not so sure I'd change it if I could.

Dharmafey said...

Oh man! This sounds exactly like my son. And to give you SOME reassurance, he definately takes steps toward independance as HE is ready, not when others say he should. This continues to work, even though sometimes I wish he'd just leave me alone and let me knit. It is hard to be available for all his needs and quirks, but his growth, physically, emotionally and relationally reassure me. Trust your Mommy Instincts!

tiennie said...

He is too sweet! You should definitely do what feels right for you. You're right - they are only this little for so long and you want to enjoy it. You'll miss this time soon enough.

Marvie said...

When you think about it, it's perfectly natural that he'd sleep best next to your heart... after all he just spent 9 months listening to it and then it was no longer a constant presence.

My youngest slept with me till he was 5, granted that was more due to our living situation than by choice, but still. He's perfectly fine in spite of it ;)

Best advice, is enjoy it now. He's so teensy and precious =) You can wean him into his own bed over time, when you're both ready.

jessie said...

(a) Good lord is that baby beautiful.

(b) Don't listen to advice that you're not comfortable with; do what is right for you. When we came back from China with our daughter, she slept with us (or on us) all the time. People gave us a lot of crap about teaching her "independence." I had my own childhood issues, I guess, and she was adopted, and I was determined not to ever let her feel abandoned.

At the age of 3, she had her first dentist appointment and made me wait in the waiting room.

So I'd have to say that regardless of what certain people will tell you, in my experience, you cannot "spoil" a baby by being too close, and if anything, knowing that you are always there will give a child MORE confidence, not less.

Having spent a long time with a baby sleeping on my lap (and the phone just out of reach) or in a backpack while I cooked dinner, I know the feeling of wanting a little personal space now and then!Our pediatrician said as long as it is not causing marital conflict, do whatever works.

Like I said: You're the mommy. That may mean less attachment parenting or more, but don't blindly read baby books for advice, don't blindly follow the advice of well-meaning friends or parents, even us bloggers. Do what makes you and your baby happy.

(Our daughter is 7 now, and on the nights when she, the dog, and the cat are in bed with us, it gets a bit crowded. But those days are less and less frequent and soon they'll be gone, I know.) I have no regrets.

wilkinet said...

What a sweet baby. I think there's no such thing as 'too attached.' Your son is really lucky to have that close contact and attention (rather than always being kept at 'arms length').

Our first baby is nearly four. She sounds like you son - she would sleep for hours in are arms or our Wilkinet sling - but now she's confident, happy and very self-assured (doesn't need 'hand-holding' through new things like going to pre-school or trying stuff).

Baby number three arrived yesterday - and I can't wait to get him in his sling and held close.

Judy said...

Ahhhh~ Such an adorable sweet site! Robby's adorable laying like that.

The best thing is do what you feel is right for your baby. I believe that you won't miss out on teaching independence. I think, that'll come with time. For now, Robby just wants to be held and get to know his momma. :-)
Happy sleeping!

Keisha said...

Awwww! We must have a play date soon!!

Jo said...

Baby G is so adorable! I hope that you are doing well!

Meleah said...

Hey Bea!

I just wanted to say here....in my opinion....there is NO such thing as TOO attached. You are doing an awesome job! Trust your instincts and work on letting go of the doubt (trust me...I know from my own personal experience that letting go of the doubt is one of the hardest things about parenting...not an easy task!) You are right on target mama!!!
xoxox

meleah said...

Oh and one more thing....Robby is flippin' adorable!!! I can't wait to meet him ;)