Happy Berfday Bubba

Tomorrow, you will be 4 months old Robby! I can hardly believe it, these past four months have been the longest and the shortest months of my life. When we first brought you home from the hospital, you were a little slug that only ate, pooped, and peed. It was all we could do to get you to open your eyes, every once in a while, you would crack one eye, take a quick glance around and shut them really quick. Very gradually, you started opening your eyes more and more, looking around you, and staring at people's faces. Then, wonder of wonders, you started giving us real smiles! At four months, we are starting to see more and more of your personality. Firstly, you LOVE mommy! Whenever I walk into the room, your eyes light up and follow me around the room. You get this HUGE smile as if to say, "Hey, I know you! You are the lady that feeds me and holds me and changes me and plays with me! You're cool!" If I'm gone for too long, you have this whine that sounds like you're saying, "Hey......hey......helloooo.....lady...where are you? I'm all alone here....heyyyyyy." When you are with me, you rarely cry, unless I break out the big blue booger sucker of death, but when you are with your Aunt Olivia, or your Dad, or your Aunt Kathy, every once in a while you will cry for 45 minutes straight, and be inconsolable, nothing works, feeding you, slinging you, rocking you, you just cry and cry because you miss mommy. It takes a while for you to trust someone, you usually cry when someone you don't know holds you, your forehead worry wrinkles come out, then you break out into a wailing cry, head thrown back, tears streaming, it's so sad, but a little funny because your sad face is a perfect sad face, like those Greek tragedy masks. You are also a very shy baby. When someone smiles at you and I'm holding you, you smile back then bury your head in my chest. When I'm holding you and we walk by a mirror, you look around in the mirror till you see me smiling back at you, then you smile at yourself and then bury your head in my chest. Your laughs are a thing of wonder, and daddy and I will make total fools of ourselves to hear it. You save your best laughs for daddy, his stubble can elicit deep throated chuckles when he eats your chubby armpits and legs. You love when we read to you, sometimes you will talk back to us! You really like for us to hold you so you can stand on your legs, you will stomp your feet and bend your legs. You just discovered your feet a few days ago, and are actively trying to get your foot into your mouth. You haven't gotten that far yet, but I'm sure you'll reach that goal someday. For the most part, you are a very quiet baby, and when I'm holding you, you are content to look around and take everything in. You are the best thing that's happened to us, even when you are being a little Robby the Turd, we love you so much. It's been an adventure, happy four month birthday, we look forward to many many more.
Gosh this is a long post! I still struggle with doubt about you being too attached to me, but I'm working through it. You are a very good baby, and to get on my soapbox here, the Western idea of a good baby is silly, most little babies will not lie passively in their cribs entertaining themselves, they need to be attached to people at this stage, not a doll, a mobile, or a pacifier. Needs that aren't met in infancy don't go away, they get replaced by other needs, so while it's hard sometimes to respond to your need to be held, hugged, played with, I know it will pay off in the future. I know the time will come when you are independent, the time when you are ready to sleep by yourself and start detaching from me, but for now, you are still your mama's boy and that's ok.